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I looked over at my phone. Three missed calls from an unknown number. I don’t know how I did not hear my phone ring. Maybe years of using earphones are finally catching up with me.

“Who’s this?” I thought to myself. As if they heard my thoughts, the strange number called again.

“Hello? Niko hapa nje na vitu zako“

From my desk in the office, I can see outside really well. Technically, I am outside. I looked out of the window and saw a rider. I was very confused. Vitu zangu? Vitu gani?. It’s not like I had been shopping online.

“Nakuona. Wacha nikuje“

I made my way to the gate.

“Niko na vitu zako kutoka Karen. Ni wewe unalipa ama yeye?”

What on earth is going on?

He must have read the expression on my face – pure confusion.

“Wacha nimpigie nimwambie nimefikisha“

Then he got into the carrier box on his motorcycle and fished out a lovely white gift bag with a multi-coloured interior. Abstract shapes in pink, purple, brown, navy blue…All this melted the confusion and it was immediately replaced with excitement. I was itching to go back to my desk and see what is inside and who it came from. I thanked the rider and walked back in. I was using all my strength to not run.

“Is it your birthday?” A colleague asked as soon as I walked through the door.

“Not yet” I responded. It was exactly two days before my birthday. Who could this be?

I sat down and hands shaking with excitement, I went through the gift bag. The first thing that caught my eye was the book. Bright yellow. A couple of red squares, a silhouette of a plane on the top right corner and what looks like a van or matatu on the bottom right corner on the cover. And in bold and blue, the title “Nearly All The Men in Lagos Are Mad”. A book I had been meaning to get since March 2024 (She used my brother to fish this information from me. Well played.) . On the front page, the words “To a wonderful human being! Happy Birthday Germaine.” Signed by Winnie. She must have used those fancy pens people use to sign cheques. There’s a certain way they write, not like normal pens. It looked like that. I think she has a nice handwriting so it looks even better. Bluish- purplish ink. (I know her handwriting because every single time I post something, she’ll print it out. Then she’ll highlight parts and write comments next to some parts and then she sends me and we talk about it. Like a book club. A blog club. I keep telling but I don’t think she knows how much I look forward to it. I really do. She sees a post and she’s armed with highlighters. I’m curious to see her comments on this post) . There was also a birthday card. A physical birthday card! When is the last time you saw one of those? It made me so happy!! There was a bunch of other things too but I won’t tell you because it was my gift bag, not ours 😝. You see all the strength I was using to not run, it was immediately converted to trying to keep me from crying. (I cry very easily. Happy? Tears. Angry? Tears. Frustrated? Tears. Hormones are showing me dust and a fly buzzes too close to my face? I might just cry)

This is the second time in a year Winnie has sent a delivery to the office. The first time she sent cupcakes and a salad dressing.She bakes (Winree’s Cakes and Muffins – 0722903715). They were very nice orange cupcakes. I don’t know if she knows this, but I was having a bad day and those cupcakes really turned my day around. Are you having a bad day? Nothing Winnie’s cupcakes can’t fix. Is your girl having a bad day? Ask Winnie to hook you up. Is your man having a bad day? Winnie doesn’t discriminate. Everyone gets cupcakes (as long as you pay. He he)

I was supposed to debut the salad dressing this past December when we went for our annual family gathering. I have already debuted it for myself, though. I mean, for the family. My role during family gatherings is to make salads and kachumbaris. I am that cousin. I make really nice salads. Wangechi approves my salads (my cousin, come on guys). Wangechi has taste (He he. Pun). She tells me sometimes she randomly thinks about my salads. Who needs KEBS when you have Wangechi? 😅. If I make it to December , I’ll definitely introduce a new salad to our menu and I hope she’ll like it. When she does (because she will) I’ll be sure to thank Winnie because were in not for her? I would have never discovered this salad dressing. (It won’t have avocado, Wangechi. She hates avocados but I ignore that part because she’s my cousin😅. It’s a shame that she’s never tasted my guacamole. There’s not a single soul on this planet that has tasted my guacamole and not liked it. Avocado haters, this is not for you. Move along.)

I’d be lying if I told you I remember how we started talking. You see, Winnie is not my friend. Well, originally. I met her through my brother, she is his friend. What I do remember, is that she was going to help me revamp my CV. I sent it to her and she said “Girl, your CV ain’t shit”. Okay, she didn’t say that. She’s a lovely lady. Strict, but nice while at it. What she did do was give me a few pointers and schedule a call. I remember being very nervous. It felt like an interview. She rescheduled the first call and I was so relieved but then she rescheduled and I freaked out again. I was very tempted to bail out to be honest. But she called and we had a surprisingly pleasant conversation. She gave me a bit of her life story, which I will not tell you because it is not mys story to tell. Then she sent me her CV to use as a guide and that conversation continues to date.

We talk about everything now. From work, to The Office (The Series with Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute and Jim and Pam and Stanley.. you get the drill). She recently watched it and she was sending me live updates. I loved them so much. It’s like a book club but for series. To life, and men and careers and cats. Of course she loves cats. This was the first green flag 😅. I know she’s a good soul because of how she speaks about animals. She’s very kind to animals. Not normal animals like cats and dogs that you keep as pets. I’m talking about animals like cows and goats. Animals that are only kept because they are giving something in return. I use this as a metric to judge people sometimes. This and how someone treats people in the service industry. The waiter, the guard at the gate asking you to sign in because it’s standard procedure. The lady / gentleman who’s cleaning as you walk in. I think they can give you a glimpse into the kind of person you’re dealing with. There’s a man I was trying to get to know and he asked me to accompany him to the supermarket once and I was very keen to see how he’ll treat the attendants because we had never been in a similar situation. (He was nice to them and he thanked them afterwards. Five stars for mystery man 😅.)

The most interesting thing is that we have never met, but we speak almost daily. Sometimes things will happen to me and I think “Winnie must know about this” I have seen her though, twice. (Okay, once. The second time was a case of mistaken identity.) I suspected it was her because of her dreadlocks and height. She’s really short (Her words. I am not disputing these words either 😅) . She sat two pews ahead of me and answered a question at that forum that we were at. I told myself “That looks like Winnie. I’ll ask her if she’s her after this” But after that, I went to say hi to my brother and I actually had to queue. He’s a celebrity in his circle (He will refuse this but ni mimi nawashow). By the time I was done, Winnie had disappeared into the night like Batman after solving crime, beating the bad guy and wrecking half the city. I texted her later and it was in fact, her. I’m supposed to look for her soon. I will. Soon.

I told her I’d mention her in a post, she gave me the green light. Well, here’s the post Winnie. I told my brother about it too but I asked him not to tell her. In fact, he read this post first. Isotoshe (my mum uses this word when she’s about to start the juiciest part of whatever story she’s giving you. Recently, I heard my dad use it too. I thought that was cute. That they’re using each other’s lingo) , he also edited it. The same way she asked him to find out what book I want. Ha! Dose of your own medicine. Yes, Winnie. Pastor knew. (This is an inside joke. Don’t try to understand it)

She shares a birthday with, well, someone I used to know. Look at the things my mind chooses to remember instead of telling me why I walked into a room. (Does that happen to y’all? You walk into a room and completely forget why you went in? Or if you were going to get something you completely forget what the something was? So you stand there, using all your strength to try and remember why you are there? But you never remember so you go about your business but the minute you sit down, your mind suddenly remembers the thing? No? Yes? I know I’m not alone). When she told me about it I was very glad to replace that memory. 12th January – Winnie’s Day.

In a world where everyone is trying to swindle, short change, lie to, use or take advantage of you, may you find a Winnie. My you BE a Winnie. All the kindness and warmth you’ve shown me, a (former) stranger, may the universe give it back to you. Infinite times over. May you never lack.

Happy Birthday, Winnie ❤️