“Do I have one?” I must have chuckled. Or giggled. Or even laughed out loud. I laugh out loud a lot. Sometimes, very loudly. More like cackling. It gets significantly louder when I’m with my friends. It doesn’t help that we have the same sense of humour. We find the silliest things funny. Like someone writing Buguma instead of Bungoma. It happened a couple of months back but it still tickles us. This specific writing was in a public place, somewhere you have to pass through as you weave your way into different parts of the building. Several times a day too. Quite literally, it was a writing on a wall (Okay, it was a label of something that was set along the corridor wall. Same thing, no?). It has since been taken down, it served it purpose I believe. That or it was taken back to Buguma (he he)
Anyways, back to my story (I’ve digressed in the first paragraph. Hamna bahati 😅)
“Do I have one?” That was the first answer I got. The question was “What is your favourite thing about dealing with customers?” I wanted to do a piece for the just ended Customer Service Week. So I figured who best to talk to, than actual customer service representatives. (Sales also counts. At least in my books). The front-line soldiers in dealing with customers. The people who we should be celebrating this week, not the actual customers , as we do here. Not that celebrating customers is a bad thing. But customer service week ideally, should be for people in customer service. If you were to celebrate your customers, it should be their customer service team.
So, I went around asking the people I know in customer service and active sales their best and worst bits of dealing with customers. I have a little experience here too so I have a few things to contribute to this as well. I’m not going to say who said what, obviously. I don’t want anyone’s words to be used against them in a court of law (Or HR’s office). Initially, I was going to write a post focusing on the different types of customers we experience but then I thought about it and I like this approach better. After all, we agreed the week is for customer service teams and not customers, yes? Plus it’s a two bird, one stone situation.
“You learn to be patient” A pro(as in pros and cons) of being in customer service and let me tell you Maina, this one? Felt on a spiritual level. Personally, I have very little patience which is getting extremely thin as days pass by but we shall not delve into this today. We may not get into it tomorrow either. Let’s just say I cannot say exactly what I want to say, yet. When people were getting patience, I was back on the height queue, getting second helpings. It’s a good thing The Spirit has more fruits because I suspect my basket has no patience. But being in customer service doesn’t give you an option. You have to be patient. A customer will be pushing all your buttons at the same time and you can’t as much as flinch. Remember you’re the first line of duty. The way soldiers serve and protect their country? Yeah. You don’t want to be the reason for bad Google reviews (I take them very seriously). For a long time, government offices were notorious for being served with ‘attitude’. You don’t want to be the face of attitude, now, do you? And a lot of times losing your patience will manifest as such.
What I have enjoyed most in my small experience is how you get to interact with so many different characters and personalities. I got that a lot too from the people I asked. Like these two brothers, they were in-laws actually. They were very funny, insane chemistry. They must also be very good friends as well. They reminded me of Simo and Kata (These are radio presenters in one of the popular Kikuyu radio stations. They are hilarious and extremely silly. I think they spend at least two-thirds of their show laughing. It’ll start with one of them saying a very unhinged thing, then the other laughing and saying an even more unhinged thing. Then they go on and on. One lights a fire, the other has an endless supply of fuel. The fire never dies).
It hadn’t started like that though,. When one of the duo walked in, he had signs of being a difficult customer. He was claiming to be in a hurry, claiming to be purchasing at a different price despite us confirming from the system. Then he said something in Kikuyu to his in-law-slash- friend. I’m 100% percent sure he assumed we can neither hear nor understand the language. But I responded, in Kikuyu (My Kikuyu is really good, Props to Baba and Mama Nyambura. Of course growing up in the village contributed the biggest part to this).
That was the ice breaker. All of a sudden, they were not in a hurry any more. They even asked for tea and somewhere along the way, remembered even their mother uses the same product and she needed it too. The conversation became very pleasant. This is the only time I have laughed to tears with a customer. One of them even offered me his son. That was funny. He said the next time he’ll send his son and he’ll give him a note that says “This is the one” 😅😅. Then they laughed for a good 5 minutes, just like the two radio presenters. He also insisted that I give him my personal number despite giving him the office line. Usually, I don’t think much of this but I kid you not, he sent his son. I didn’t even know it was the son. A couple of months passed by. I completely forgot about that whole interaction. A customer just walked in. A lighskinned man, not very tall, medium build but starting to lean more on the chubby side with an afro. His hair was jet black. It looked darker than black though. Must be because of his skin tone. No sooner than he walked in than my phone rang. I hadn’t even said ‘hello’ ” Wanjiku, ùcio mùndù ndagùtùmìra” (Translation: Wanjiku, there’s the person I’ve sent you)
You also get to learn a lot about yourself and be very diverse. You’re interacting with so many people, each different from the next. You can’t interact with a younger person the same way you will interact with an elderly couple. How you interact with men may be different from how you interact with women. Sometimes, not by your own doing. Like this one man, he was frustrated because something was getting fixed and it was taking longer than anticipated. But all he could do when I was trying to assist was issue threats. Yet, when I got him a fellow man to help with a situation, they had a very sober conversation, even exchanging numbers yet he had refused to share his number with me, so I could give him a status update. Let me just get this off my chest, but it still surprises me when men treat me like this. (Men may not understand this but I know ladies understand EXACTLY what I mean). This is the second time this is happening.
The first time it happened, I was actually shocked. This was in what, 2022? Early 2022. It was during a customer visit and I was with a male colleague. We were seated in a waiting area, pinkish – purplish walls, a couple of empty benches. It was kind of chilly, the emptiness made it feel more chilly. We were seated on two benches, next to each other, I was on the far end. My colleague in the middle and the client, a man, on another bench next to ours. He would say something, to which I would respond but he would speak to my colleague. He wasn’t even looking at me. Zero acknowledgement of my presence. I was a little confused. But it got worse. My colleague must have noticed because he really tried to mitigate the situation, steering the discussion such that the client had to speak to me. Then he suggested we meet later, talk more business. He mentioned that I would be accompanying them, to which the client retorted with “Asikuje. Hii ni mambo ya wanaume” . To my face. I was in disbelief. I have A LOT of things to say about (some) men in corporate actually, but not today.
Customer service can also teach you things about yourself. You discover traits you didn’t know you possessed. The person who shared this discovered that turns out, she is in fact,NOT slow to anger. She’s very quick to anger, something she didn’t know until she started working in customer service. But the beautiful thing is that she has learned. She’s currently working on her subtitles. Facial expressions are what I call subtitles. She cannot hide irritation to save her life. She’s upset? Her forehead might as scrunch up and spell STAY AWAY. She’s irritated, her eyes will definitely roll. She may not use words but it will be unmistakable what she means when you look at her face. I keep telling some people “Fix It!” when the subtitles are too loud. Resting bitch face ladies, resting bitch face. But I understand them, it’s not easy sometimes. A lot of times.
You learn how to negotiate, or your skills get better and with time, both. You have to ensure the end game is a win-win situation for the organization and the customer. Especially when it comes to discounts. If you left it to the customers, you’d end up being a charitable organization. You’re a customer somewhere too. I’m sure if it were up to some of us, we’d want 100% discount on everything. This may be controversial but I think this world has enough resources for all 8 point something billion of us. So ideally, we should have everything we need at no cost but capitalism exists in the same world we do. Where do you think they’re going to make their money from? I know times are tough and we’re all trying to save a buck, but let’s also be fair.
The fulfilment that comes with a satisfied, happy customer is what keeps a lot of us going. I got this response from 100% of the people I asked. Nothing beats a happy customer, especially when you contributed to that happiness. My favourite happy customers are the blessers (Not what you’re thinking). The ones who speak blessings on you. “Thank you so much. God bless you my daughter. You know you’re like my daughter?” I got this years ago and clearly, it’s still pushing me. She was a lovely older lady. Mind you, we never saw each other, just something we sorted over the phone. She did come to the office but she was assisted by someone else. Yet, she remembered to call me back and appreciate. It really warms your heart. Jesus must’ve felt like this when that one leper came back to give thanks. Mind you, he was shouting. The Good Book says “he came back, praising God in a loud voice” (Luke 17:11-19)
Sometimes you do a really good job and the customer only wants you. They trust you. They believe you are the solution to all their problems. Their grandmother dislocated her hip when she was 16 and has been walking with a slight limp ever since, they’re sure you can fix that. And that feels really good too. It starts like this and then you create a wonderful relationship. The next time they show you photos of their children or grandchildren (Come to think of it, I’ve never seen pet photos. Please show me photos of your cats and dogs. I want to see your pets. Except snakes. Snakes is where I draw the line). They send their loved ones to you. You know their needs too. They take sugarless tea, they come every two weeks, they have a son in America who is a doctor, they lived in Europe for 15 years and boy! Aren’t the winters cold? It’s so fulfilling. It gives you purpose. You feel like you have made the world a better place and this helps you sleep better at night. I see why Jesus kept talking about service (Being a servant. Well, that’s my interpretation of it.You’d think my love language is acts of service after all this rooting for service, but it’s not. Nothing beats quality time to me, not even a Jet2 holiday. I am so sorry if you’re not active on IG or Twitter because this joke will fly over your head like a hawk that just snatched a sweet meaty treat that was 2 millimeters away from your mouth)
Every rose bush has thorns and so does being in customer service. The most basic and common one I got was being shouted at. But let’s speak as adults (Direct translation). Why are you shouting? Even if you use your normal voice, I will still hear you so why yell? Let’s leave yelling to concerts (Nairobi make some noise!! He he. This is an inside joke). You’re disgruntled, dissatisfied, frustrated, and rightfully so but I still believe there’s better ways to express this other than raising your voice at someone else. The message is important but so is how you deliver. I belong to this school of thought. However, I also subscribe to returning the same energy. If someone is moving mad, occasionally, move mad too. Just be sure you can fight whatever battle you decide to pick.
Dear customers, stop being overly friendly. You make things very awkward. We’re just trying to get by the day. Don’t make a funny, suggestive comment. We can’t tell you off, we should and we really want to , but obviously it will be misconstrued and turned against us. Let me use this chance to make a public service announcement. You see those Whatsapp numbers on company websites? Unless it’s a chatbot, there are people behind the screen. Please, I beg you, for the love of God, stop flirting with them. This is an official company communication channel, let’s keep it official. There are a million dating sites out there if that’s what you’re looking for. Or text ‘love’ to 333222😅. Where did these ads go?
Every time I have an unpleasant experience with a customer – and it’s bound to happen -I always ask myself if I am that kind of customer. Does someone in customer service somewhere see me and roll their eyes? Or her stomach feels like it’s knotting itself? Do they see me and it’s like a dark, grey cloud ruining what was a bright and sunny day? We’re all customers somewhere. What kind are you? Especially when disappointed. Do you yell? Raise hell? Issue threats? Do they know who you are? You will get all of them fired!
Or are you the quiet ones, the ones being referred to in the prayer of St Francis of Assisi? Lord, make me an instrument of peace…are you an instrument of peace? Or are you Assef? You’re probably wondering who that is? I’m currently reading Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner and Assef is a character in that book who is the embodiment of everything that is the opposite of peace.
There are two very popular sayings. Customer is king and the customer is always right. I have reservations about both because some customers are very unkingly (it’s a word. Google it) and some are extremely wrong. How many kings are there? I also thought cash is king? Or is this another kingdom altogether? Anyway, if that’s what customers are, what about the people serving the customer? What are they, then?
